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Sunday, June 10, 2012

HEART vs. MIND

Assalamualaikum... ada something I wish to share with my followers.. something a bit personal that I always munch them on my own.. its been a while since I cry out loud when I have a thought on my Ghaziy.. but last night I shed into an unstoppable cry...

 I was juz done with my Isya' prayer which a bit late sebab melayan cerita Sekali Lagi @ Mustika HD. A sad story with a cheers ending. Spending my night @ my sister in law house is no big issue as we always spend nights there. Cumanye... selesai solat, tetiba je rasa hening sangat.. My mind was flown back to moment I'm under confinement in that room with my Ghaziy next to me..

 I was praying in the same room I spent my days and nights berpantang. Teringat, bila nak tidur both of us will be showered with sweats coz the Ayah said ibu and Ghaziy tak elok kena direct fan. I started remeber how I woke at nights to breastfeed the little guy and curi curi tarik kipas from his Ayah..and that made me crash into tears.. Suddenly I felt so angry not to be able to comfort my baby enough while he is beside me.. I cried and cried until my husband entered the room.

I'll regain myself with istighfar and my heart started to fill in peace and rationale thinking. Nonetheless, I make promise that I am not going to allow the same situation to be repeated. Most probably, I couldn't afford to undergo another trip of confinement in the same room...the same fan...

 Perhaps people would think I overreact on the situation. Though, that is what and how I felt. and thank you Allah for granting me an understanding husband to comfort and sooth me whenever I lost myself to depression.

Once I got back to my strong will, I recite this..and syukur.. I found peace pace in my heart..


Ya Allah,
Moga anakku bersedia menolong ku & suami untuk membuka pintu Syurga buat kami...

Ya Allah,
Izinkanlah anakku yang 'pergi' itu  sentiasa menungguku di pintu syurga, menunggu ibu & ayahnya hadir mendekatinya... 

Sesungguhnya Engkau ya Allah lebih menyayangi anakkku..
Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik...
Aku redha ini satu ujian dariMu kepada hambaMu yang hina ini.
dan aku mohon dikurniakan ketabahan dan kesabaran serta redha atas ketentuanMu ini...


2 comments:

  1. Imam Ahmad meriwayatkan: Affan telah menceritakan sebuah riwayat kepada kami, dia berkata: Khalid Ath-Thahhan telah menceritakan sebuah riwayat kepada kami, dia berkata: Yahya At-taimi telah menceritakan sebuah riwayat kepada kami, dia berkata : Dari Abdullah bin Muslim, dari Muaz, diriwayatkan bahawa dia berkata: Rasulullah bersabda:

    “Demi zat yang jiwaku berada di tanganNya: Sesungguhnya janin yang gugur itu akan mengiringi ibunya dengan tali pusarnya menuju Syurga, bila sang ibu bersabar dan mengharap pahala dari Allah”

    Dari ALi bin Abi Thalib diriwayatkan bahawa dia berkata: Rasulullah bersabda:

    “Janin yang gugur di hari khiamat nanti akan mengadu kepada Rabbnya bila hendak memasukkan kedua orang tuanya ke dalam Neraka. Maka akan dikatakan kepadanya: “wahai janin, silakan engkau masukkan kedua orang tuamu ke dalam syurga”

    >>For you my lovely sister :) my Allah granting us with something that we never expect pun, insya allah

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    Replies
    1. There's always a good reply from you.. and yes indeed I do look forward and striving to be a good 'abid to Allah for He will definitely keep His words..

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