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Saturday, January 25, 2014

Memory Lane

I've been trying hard to start my garden as my previous post couple of months back but not being a gardener spirit caused the intention to be held back... Huuhuhu...😅

And recently Maryam having viral fever would be just the topic I would rather write currently.

Had a normal routine last Wednesday by dropping her off at the babysitter's house. She looks just as happy and delighted as always. 

Had a great day at office and the day's end perfectly fine just to note by Cik Jah Maryam is having high temperature. Holding her indeed her whole body was hot. I did feel anxious but remain calm thinking its normal for a child to catch fever. Nonetheless I wondered why would she have such high temperature with no symptom of flu or sore throat.

Administered PCM once we arrived home and monitored her. I allowed her to be off shirt and padded her head with damped towel. She looked tired. In an hour PCM seems to work but at 2am her fever return to say hello at 38 celcius. 

Gave her another dosage of PCM and the whole night both me and my husband couldn't bother to shit our eyes.

The memory of caring of our Ghaizy stroked my mind. I was so freaking out thinking that could this fever lead to monstrous incurrabledisease.


I looked at her and she seems to breath steadily as again the PCM plays it's role.

After subuh the heat returned. So we took her to our paeds clinic. At that time she was at 40 celcius and raising.. I just want I know the cause and imminently wish she'd be under antibiotics.

The doctor ruled out dengue and as it's quite hard to determine the actual viral without having Maryam's urine tested he referred us to UMMC ER.

Waiting at the ER walked me to the memory lane.. Though it's far different from what I've gone through with Ghaziy but still it's cost me a cold sweat..

Alhamdulillah... Maryam's urine didnt show serious infection and oral antibiotics would be sufficient to chase the little monster in her body. A progress from the antibiotic would be seen within 48 hours and we went home relieved.

Before nightfall while changing Maryam's to her PJ's she shiver and she had blue color on her feet and hand. Her lips were also turning blue.. Why would this happened. Her temperature is raising...But she response well the only relieved reason not to be super freaking out. This really stalled me to the thought of having Ghaziy to ER.. His blue lips, pale face and helpless body... I was screaming inside of me praying that nothing Owh please nothing more like loosing  angel of mine...

I realized that after 3 years from the most panicked lifetime experienced I have not recovered from the trauma and the phobia is walking, eating and sleeping by my side...


Not to panic, I cuddled Maryam in my arms trying to warm her. We drove to ER and made several stops as the traffic was bad to check on her features. I don't favor to admit her but if that needs to be done that I would have no choice wouldn't I..

Alhamdulillah.. Just we stop at our final pit her hands feet and lips were pink and we decided to detour to my sister in law home which is nearer to ummc and monitor her there.

I was pretending from the beginning of Maryam fever episode that I would never got myself sink in my memory lane of rushing to ER but I couldn't help myself to be helplessly allowing the phobia haunting me.

I'd calmed myself at all time when I put to bed little Maryam by whispering to her "you may got sick once a while and I do wish you got sick as any other normal kids had... And please be sick as normal kids would be caused your brother Ghaziy never had fever and once he hade his emergency episode je never recover...