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Sunday, January 29, 2012


“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
― Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn

The above sounds so motivating.. But currently I felt the other way round. I in the ambience of demotivating myself. I felt so lonely despite a truthful and loyal husband who kept me uprising. I'm truly feeling the lost. It's creepy to admit that I'm a bit falling apart. But here I am feeling sorry for myself and filling the grievance again.

People said time will heal but I'm starting to doubt it. I can start to feel that my feelings of missing Ghaziy is becoming to be featured as an active volcano. Couldn't talk about having this feeling with anyone even to my darling Saiful. He'd be devastated too as he's been trying hard to make me as happy as he could.

I begin to feel that my life is filling up with imperfection. Upon delivering Ghaziy I felt that my life was truly perfected. No words no money and nothing in this world could replace the joy and gratitude when I gave birth to him on 12.12.2010. A beautiful and greatest gift for my wedding anniversary.

Loosing him for nearly 3 months causes me to reach the limit of trying to be optimist. I'm getting to feel that there's a big round hole in me. That's what I called my imperfection. And, there's no beauty that I could extract from such feeling...

"Oh dear Allah the Almighty, give me the strength for this challenges you've vested in me..." and I'm gonna keep on praying for such strength so as to have hope to see the beauty of my little piece of imperfect life..

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