Another episode in my life...

It's been a while since I've been hit with another devastating yet embroidered in hikmah.. Mcm nasyid arwah Ustaz Asri, Munajat:

"Ujian kepahitan...di dalam kehidupan..
Padanya ada kemanisan..
Ketenangan dan kebahagiaan..
Bayangan ..syurga idaman.."

It would be a big lie to say I'm fond to the news of being miscarriage this morning. Though, I'm putting the scenario as Allah knows the best. He always cherish me with a life test. Test that He knows I am meant to strive. Becauuuseee..., my questions are always answered..

Apa yg mungkin menjadi persoalan dalam diri ini ditimpa ujian..

1) WHY AM I BEING TESTED?

verse 2-3 of chapter 29. العنكبوت

أَحَسِبَ النّاسُ أَن يُترَكوا أَن يَقولوا ءامَنّا وَهُم لا يُفتَنونَ


Do people think they will not be tested because they say, "We have faith?"


وَلَقَد فَتَنَّا الَّذينَ مِن قَبلِهِم ۖ فَلَيَعلَمَنَّ اللَّهُ الَّذينَ صَدَقوا وَلَيَعلَمَنَّ الكٰذِبينَ

We had certainly tried those who lived before them to make sure who were truthful in their faith and who were liars

2) I WOULD NEVER OWN THINGS THAT I USHERED AND LOVE MOST

verse 216 of chapter 2. البقرة

كُتِبَ عَلَيكُمُ القِتالُ وَهُوَ كُرهٌ لَكُم ۖ وَعَسىٰ أَن تَكرَهوا شَيـًٔا وَهُوَ خَيرٌ لَكُم ۖ وَعَسىٰ أَن تُحِبّوا شَيـًٔا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُم ۗ وَاللَّهُ يَعلَمُ وَأَنتُم لا تَعلَمونَ

Fighting is made mandatory for you, but you dislike it. You may not like something which, in fact, is for your good and something that you may love, in fact, may be evil. God knows, but you do not know.

3) WHAT DO I GAINED STRIVING THE TESTS?

verse 111 of chapter 9. التوبة

۞ إِنَّ اللَّهَ اشتَرىٰ مِنَ المُؤمِنينَ أَنفُسَهُم وَأَموٰلَهُم بِأَنَّ لَهُمُ الجَنَّةَ ۚ يُقٰتِلونَ فى سَبيلِ اللَّهِ فَيَقتُلونَ وَيُقتَلونَ ۖ وَعدًا عَلَيهِ حَقًّا فِى التَّورىٰةِ وَالإِنجيلِ وَالقُرءانِ ۚ وَمَن أَوفىٰ بِعَهدِهِ مِنَ اللَّهِ ۚ فَاستَبشِروا بِبَيعِكُمُ الَّذى بايَعتُم بِهِ ۚ وَذٰلِكَ هُوَ الفَوزُ العَظيمُ

God has purchased the souls and property of the believers in exchange for Paradise. They fight for the cause of God to destroy His enemies and to sacrifice themselves. This is a true promise which He has revealed in the Torah, the Gospel, and the Quran. No one is more true to His promise than God. Let this bargain be glad news for them. This is indeed the supreme triumph.

4) HOW WOULD I GO ON..?

verse 45 of chapter 2. البقرة

وَاستَعينوا بِالصَّبرِ وَالصَّلوٰةِ ۚ وَإِنَّها لَكَبيرَةٌ إِلّا عَلَى الخٰشِعينَ

Help yourselves (in your affairs) with patience and prayer. It is a difficult task indeed, but not for the humble ones

5) TO WHOM SHOULD I CRY..?


verse 129 of chapter 9. التوبة

فَإِن تَوَلَّوا فَقُل حَسبِىَ اللَّهُ لا إِلٰهَ إِلّا هُوَ ۖ عَلَيهِ تَوَكَّلتُ ۖ وَهُوَ رَبُّ العَرشِ العَظيمِ

(Muhammad), if they turn away from you, say, "God is Sufficient (support) for me. There is no God but He. In Him do I trust and He is the Owner of the Great Throne."

and there will be time I felt hopeless, frustrated and disappointed. BUT.., Allah never leaves me without His magical motivation..

verse 87 of chapter 12. يوسف

يٰبَنِىَّ اذهَبوا فَتَحَسَّسوا مِن يوسُفَ وَأَخيهِ وَلا تَا۟يـَٔسوا مِن رَوحِ اللَّهِ ۖ إِنَّهُ لا يَا۟يـَٔسُ مِن رَوحِ اللَّهِ إِلَّا القَومُ الكٰفِرونَ

My sons, go and search for Joseph and his brother and do not despair of receiving comfort from God; only the unbelievers despair of receiving comfort from Him."

Dear readers.., now you know that despite my smile and laugh I do cry behind public. Instead of continue crying I take a pause and will try to find the best answers to my grieve. I found it in our greatest holy Quran. It truly build my motivation on top of my hubby cum BFF and the dearest friends' support..

Here I am resting in maternity HKL, post hurdling a tough day of being miscarriage. Thank you dear husband who had been running doing errands on behalf of me, for taking good care of me, for being by my side at all time.

We had had a tremendous adventure last year with Ghaziy and currently we are given another test. We are truly LOVED by Allah the most merciful..