IT'S NEVER BEEN EASY BUT... :)

When Ghaziy arrived to this world everything was beautiful, cheerful and meaningful. We were perfect quorum. Every hour we spent together felt so alive.And whenever he turned sad or upset we were there giving the best to dry his tears because when he was happy, so were we.. that's how I could describe our love to Ghaziy.

Through the pregnancy and the confinement all we had is each other and that was all. We ain't bother about the hardship the heat in a room or the crave of the forbidden foods.. all that important is he and I were together, like it was meant to be. 

Frankly yes, me and husband would be our each companion for better and for worse though sometimes we do have differences to argue on which resulting the feeling of lonely and angry to pop, Ghaziy was there to comfort both of us to a consensus because we knew that he loved us both.

So few months went by like a blink of an eye and we thought the perfect sun would always shine its sparkling and generous light. But he began to drift away out of his own consciousness. Our Ghaziy drifted to be hospitalized, a thing that would never come across to our mind. We felt lonely knowing that one day he would leave us to a kingdom that is so far far away... and the day for him to depart arrived. He left us with the sweetest smile a son could ever give to his parents. The smile defined that he is whispering his words of thankful and love towards us as his parents. The smile promises that we will be united as a family. The smile that we will never forget, am I correct dear husband..


Still I waited for the day when he'd say I love you Ibu, I love you Ayah.. and there are times when my evil thoughts visits me I felt lonely and forgotten and I'd never thought he'd look my way as he is in the greatest place a khalifah could ever imagine and I stand no where between the lines.

However, through the kowledge, spiritual support and faith as a muslim, I regain my strength knowing that he will be awaiting us on the judgment day itself with his sweetest smile towards us and he will be holding our hands like he used to do proving the eternity of his love to his parents, guiding us, assisting us, pleading on our behalf just to ensure that he will be united forever with his dear parents after a long and bitter separation in the world.

There is no word to describe the pain we are hurdling loosing our very first child. He is our marriage spirit and he is our teacher in becoming a better person. Our tears never dry... but we definitely hide it because we know that our Ghaziy would want us to stay strong and to be brave to take a new step in our live just in the meantime prior to our unification with him. He was a brave and strong little child, striving his lifetime like no ordinary babies and we need to be as tough as he had taught us through the 11 months of his life in this world.

Whenever we have tears in our eyes  we just think that there is a handsome son of ours who never fail to love us and our world will turn so beautiful when such thought flashes into our mind and to our dear Ghaziy, please know that every hour we spent together lives within both Ibu's and Ayah's heart...


Till we meet again.. wassalam...