Stepping out from the cloudy mood

Salam... My motivation is a bit low for the past few days. Perhaps too much spending time in the hospital and witnessing many babies admitted on the same batch with Ghaziy moved on to the eternity land caused me to be demotivated.

There's a baby who was admitted to Ghaziy's ward last 3 months. A baby boy with a young parents who accompanied him throughout his days. He was a year plus with liver failure. He looked uncomfortable as his tummy growing day by day. He passed away last month.

Another baby by the name Danish who never see the sunlight also lost his battle due to multiple organs failure.

A boy named Amsya Isra' was also a child filled with strong will of a survivor. Fighting with heart failure on top of liver issues made him one strong little fella to survived for nearly a year despite his heart stopped for several times before he actually took his last breath.

And recently a girl who's been struggling with leukemia came for her routine checkup passed away the next day. I could still remember her voice calling for her father whenever he stood a bit far from her bed. She died the next morning when I got in the ward.

Yesterday there's a one year and a half girl, daughter to a very young couple lost her battle with liver cancer during operation to remove the cancer.

Those are the children who had been chosen by Allah that always reminds me that I may soon lost my Ghaziy. Knowing and looking at how they battled themselves in surviving their illness makes my heart shattered when they return to the Creator. My heart breaks each time I listened to their pain and uncomfortable cries. Finally they end their journey to be in a far better place. Al Fatihah to arwah Danish, Amsya, Jasri, Humairah, Orin, Shami and to our dear friend Kaeshav may he rest in peace.

That's another challenge and obstacle I need to overcome. It was tough, oh perhaps the toughest among all challenges that I'm facing. Prayers are the best medicine to it. Regardless that I've been telling myself that I've accepted what Allah has destined me and Ghaziy there'll be time my emotion got interfered and influenced by negativity.

My husband will disapprove me talking about this as he will always trying his best to make full of my mind with optimist and positive input and will always make me realize that whenever the challenge is unbearable we must always return to our Creator's will and insyaallah the hikmah is there. Alhamdulillah Allah wrote in my qadha and Qadar to be married to my dear husband. He'll be the person who'll lift me up when I fall into the deep sadness thinking of my baby's future. He won't be bored by my melancholy attitude in dealing with our son's issues. I hope and pray he'll always be by my side cause nobody could ever replaced him.

P/s: to my dear follower Nad. You're a strong lady who had been chose by Allah to outcome His test. No matter what people say and comment only take those that are optimist and to leave those that perish your soul. What you lost today is what warrants you in the hereafter, insyaallah...